When God Shows Out

There are many times that God shows up, however, sometimes God chooses to just SHOW OUT.  This is when He, the Creator of ALL things, the Author of the Word, the Alpha and the Omega gives a glimpse of how intimate He is in the details.  It is when a sunrise nearly brings you to your knees by the majestic glory of the colors, the first time that you hold your child in your arms and the warmth of their body sets your heart on fire, or in watching a couple after decades of time holding hands as if they were young lovers.  In these moments of exhilaration, of awareness, of AWESOMENESS that you know that GOD is not just showing His hands, or His face, but He is showing His Heart.
Today, I saw His heart and He was giving it to a family as they stood in loving vigilance over their loved one whom was dying.
I had been caring for this patient whom was dying from cancer and as we had shifted in the paradigm of care from hospital to hospice the family had been gathering to love on her and each other.  This was a beautiful family and each day I have been blessed to know more and more of them.  Today, as we spoke of our faith and the blessed assurance of that heavenly place, I shared the story of my previous post, "Till We Meet Again".  Having mentioned only the name of B. in the story, the patient's sister asked expectantly, "Where did you say that B. lived?"  I said that she had lived in Indiana and she said, "I got cold chills as you were sharing that story, because I knew her and her sweet husband and actually she had grown up in Aynor and then moved to Indiana many years ago.  I had heard that she had passed".
How could this be that a different hospital, a different family, and the passage of many years would bring families together?  It is that God decided to show His Heart and His Love, He not only Showed Up, He SHOWED OUT!

Fear of Man

It is so easy for us to "Fear Man" more than to "Fear God".  I was thinking about this as I was getting ready for church this morning and was reminded by God of scripture.
Imagine what it must have been like to be the disciple Peter.  This was a man that believed, in fact declared, and KNEW that Jesus was the Son of God.  He had walked with Him and been taught by Him and was a witness to the many miracles done by Him.  He was Jewish and no doubt had been taught as a young child the Torah, the first five books of our old testament, and learned of the almighty power of the Most High God.  Perhaps his mother read to him Psalm 23, "Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me..." as he laid down to fall asleep.
This man loved Jesus and vehemently denied that he would ever reject Him when that long dark night began.  And yet, when Fear came knocking not once, not twice, but three times, Peter let him in.  Why, why, why?  He allowed fear of man to overcome fear of God.  Do I tell you this story to indict myself, to indict you? No, I tell you this story because even though it is true that Peter allowed fear to shape that night and he wept bitterly when he heard the rooster crow the third time, it is not the end of Peter's story and thank God my fearful nights are not the end of my story.  Nor will your fearful times be the end of your story.  For Peter soon thereafter rebukes the fear of man, begins to preach and the very first time that he does so the following occurs: "Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three  thousand were added to their number that day."  Acts 2:41.
What gives me comfort as I am reminded of this is that fear is common, fear can be overcome, and when that happens, God can use me in powerful ways for His Glory.

Till We Meet Again

He sat alone in the back of the church but yet did not appear lonely.  I walked by and felt the the tug of the Holy Spirit pulling me towards him. I drew close and he looked up. Our eyes locked in recognition. I leaned down to shake his hand and the warmth of the Spirit engulfed us and we hugged feeling His Presence.

It had been 3 years since meeting. It was then that he and his wife B. had traveled to the community I lived in. They had come from Indiana for many years to celebrate special events in their lives.  This particular year was truly special as B. was dying and they knew this would be their last visit. However, B. became ill and had to be hospitalized on this last visit.

I was her doctor. God brought us together at this moment and we knew that it was His divine intervention.
Our goal was to get B. well enough to see the beach with her husband, J. God intervened and made that happen.  The very last night I prayed for J. and B. and finished that prayer with, "till we meet again".  At that time I believed, we all believed, that meeting would take place in Heaven and what a celebration it would be for us all.

However, God, in his majesty chose our meeting to occur before that time.  I just happened to be visiting this church in a  nearby community. And J., well he was just passing through on his way from Indiana to Hilton Head, SC.  Very rarely do I give my cell phone number to patients in place of my work phone, however, later that afternoon I received a text from "B." and it was J.,  also praising God for the gift to meet again.

And for me, on that day, I was struggling and God saw and He gave me a gift, again, of showing me that He is there, All the Time and He is Good. Our Father God knew I was struggling that day, and He wanted to show me, he spoke to me with the words, "till we meet again".

The Rest of the Truth

In 2011,  I began this blog believing that I would continue to share my journey and the journey of others as a way to heal - for myself and maybe for someone else.  I wish I had an answer for why I did not continue in this forum, however, my journey continued and is written in many forms and God has continued to reveal His magnificent grace in ways that I could not imagine.  I am writing this post because as my husband becomes more of a person in the public eye, there will no doubt be questions about my journey and in particular, my post written in 2011, called "The Truth".  However, even as I write this now, I realize that I have not written because I thought that I was over my story, and ok to move forward.  The reality, however, is that even though I described this as "my story",  in fact, it is God's story and I just got to be a part of it.  So, here is the rest of the "The Truth":

It is 2011 and I have accepted this new label of "FELON" and knew that I had survived.  The weight had not crushed me, the shame had not smothered me and the label didn't define me.  When I received my sentence of a year's probation, my prayer was that my federal probation officer would be a believer, and he was.  In fact, he was a very strong believer and there is something incredibly humbling (in a good way - if that can be said) to say you have to leave to go meet your probation officer.  This year passed quickly as I became more involved with ministry, sharing my story, and living an authentic life.  However, God was not done with this story and I kept hearing Him say that he wanted me to return to my work as a hospitalist.  Of course, I thought perhaps He was talking to someone else because I was a felon and oh, I didn't have my DEA license even though I was able to keep my medical license.  However, God had been growing my trust in Him throughout this period of time and I just said, "Lord, if it is your will, you will open every door that I see as shut".  So, I began with calling the very first DEA agent that had interviewed me 5 years earlier.  I could not believe it when he remembered me and in fact stated their office had been following my case as they could not believe that I had been forced to plea.    When I told him that I felt that I was supposed to return to hospital medicine but would have to have my DEA license, he said he would help, and he did.  In fact, I had my license within a week.  Friends, NOTHING happens in the government in a week, much less something like this.  Then I went to my previous boss and partners whom willingly and lovingly advocated for me to get hospital privileges.  This also was miraculous in that "having a record" is not something good to have to put on a hospital credentialing application and still be accepted.  So, God opened the doors that I saw as closed and I was so excited to return to work in the hospital.  Life was good and then as life always does, life changed yet again.  I can remember the day so clearly, it was a sunny warm March day.  Scott was outside working in the yard and I was walking back from the mailbox, looking casually through the mail when I came upon a letter from the government.  The mail fell from my hands as I read this letter of disaster.  It stated that the Officer of the Inspector General had just received notification of my guilty plea (from 2008) and because of that I would no longer be able to care for Medicare or Medicaid patients, and oh, "this essentially will no longer allow you to practice medicine".  For 24 hours I cried without ceasing.  How, how, how could God have opened all those doors and yet allow this one to close so firmly.  I had been sharing my faith daily and thought that I had been obedient to what He had called me to do.  However, God gently reminded me that He was Faithful and True and to trust Him.   He did this by a patient named Mr. R.. Mr. R was dying from prostate cancer and I was able to share the Gospel and Jesus saved Him and we prayed together and celebrated together and then he told his daughter who cried on the phone.  As I walked out of the room, I leaned against the wall and began to weep and looked to God and said, "Lord, if it was only for this man to hear about you that you brought me to the hospital then that is enough and I'm ready for whatever happens even if I am sad" and from that point forward I had peace.  But what I thought was a closed door forever became the door that I saw as the greatest gift of God in this journey.  You see, at the time of my plea, I was very clear that the most important thing to me was the ability to practice medicine at the end of this journey.  This is why my attorney and the prosecuting attorney both requested to my medical board that I be allowed to keep my license as they thought this was appropriate and important.  However, with this letter, that ability would change, at least in my calling to return to the hospital.  Because no one had informed me of the OIG, nor in fact did they know this outcome, I had an opportunity to plead my case.  I wish that I could say all of our government worked with a sense of fairness and justice, maybe if it did then I would not have been prosecuted in the first place.  However, in God's providence, He chose to break me, mold me, grow me, and show me what only He can do, even through our government.   Therefore, with the support of my attorney's, the OIG, the Assistant US Federal Prosecutor, and the US Federal Prosecutor my case was brought back before the judge and she said, "In the interest of justice, I am here by Vacating Dr. Pyle's plea".  This occurred exactly six years to the day from the time the agents first entered my office.  If you are like me, I had to look up what that meant.  Essentially, it means to reverse the process as if I had never plead.  This is in the legal world, however, in the real world, my world, life will never be the same.  I say this and mean this, life will NEVER be the same, and that is GOOD.  I have seen God work so majestically in this journey, it never ceases to inspire me.  However, the whisper he gave me was this paraphrase from Genesis 50:20, "what satan intends for evil, God will use for good".  It was spoken first to me on that fateful day in 2006, then January of 2008 by my Pastor, then March of 2008 by the Assistant US Attorney, and finally 6 years plus one day, on my 50th birthday and the day after the judge vacated my sentence, the verse of the day that I get as a text was "what satan intends for evil, God will use for good".  

God is REAL.  He cares about the DETAILS.  He reveals Himself in big ways but more often in the quiet whispers so that we lean into Him to hear more clearly.  Am I listening?  Are you?